Ask Stella: Is It Acceptable for a Horse Trainer to Make Comments About You to Other Clients During Your Lesson?

Dear Overheard and Upset,

Oh boy, this one gets under my skin too! Let’s get straight to it: No, it’s not acceptable for your trainer to be chatting about you with other clients during your lesson—especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Your lesson time is your private time, and your trainer should be focusing on you and your horse, not giving a play-by-play to others.

Now, if the comments were meant as an example to help another rider (“Look at how she’s keeping her heels down, you should try that!”), that’s one thing—still not ideal, but not as bad. However, if it felt like you were being discussed in a way that crossed the line into gossip, or you were the subject of negative remarks, that’s a big red flag.

As riders, we’re paying for not just instruction but respect. You deserve a professional environment where your lessons are focused and private. It’s also important to feel like your trainer is on your side, not talking behind your back, even if they think it’s harmless.

If this becomes a pattern, it’s time for a chat with your trainer. Keep it polite but firm: “I’d prefer if my lessons could stay focused on me without discussing things with others while I’m riding.” A good trainer will respect that and make adjustments.

You deserve better than feeling overheard and upset, so don’t hesitate to stand up for yourself!

All the best,
Stella

Hello Fellow Horse Enthusiasts, I’m Stella, your no-nonsense equestrian mentor with a lifetime of hunter jumper experience under my belt. While I may be retired from competition, my passion for coaching the next generation of riders keeps me just as engaged with the equestrian world as ever.Whether you’re facing a challenging horse, a tough competition, or just need some honest advice, I’m here to help. Don’t be shy—bring your questions and concerns to me. I promise to provide you with the straightforward, heartfelt advice you need to excel in this thrilling sport. Looking forward to assisting you on your equestrian journey! All The Best, Stella

Legal Disclaimer for “Dear Stella” Column: The advice and opinions expressed in the “Dear Stella” column on www.fullcheek.com are intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. They should not be taken as legal counsel. While we strive to provide thoughtful and accurate insights, the information provided is not a substitute for personalized legal advice from a qualified attorney. We encourage all readers to consult with a legal professional for specific advice tailored to their individual circumstances. The publisher, the column, and its contributors cannot be held liable for any outcomes or decisions made based on the content provided in this column. Additionally, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the authors.

Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.

Name *

Name Consent Question

Email *

My Question For Stella

Consent Form for Use of Name and Submission in “Dear Stella" Column *

• You have my consent.

By check the box above, I, hereby grant Dear Stella and www.fullcheek.com the permission to use my name and the content of my submission in the “Dear Stella” column. I understand that this may include publication on your website, in newsletters, and other media related to www.fullcheek.com. I acknowledge that once my name and submission are published, they may be accessed by the public and that www.fullcheek.com has no control over how this information will be used by third-party individuals or entities. I affirm that I am the rightful owner of or have obtained permission to use any content I submit. I agree to indemnify and hold harmless www.fullcheek.com from and against any claims, costs, or damages resulting from the content I have provided. I understand that this consent is voluntary and I am free to withdraw my consent at any stage; however, I acknowledge that it may not be possible to remove my name or content from publications where they have already been included.

Submit