Equestrian Advice Column – Ask Stella:

Ask Stella: Dear Stella, I’ve been riding for a while and I’m just starting to dip my toes into the horse show ring, which is super exciting! But, there’s something at the barn that’s been bugging me. Sometimes, I hear my barn mates saying not-so-nice things about each other. It doesn’t seem like they mean to be mean, but it still makes me feel sad. What should I do when I hear gossip or negative comments? Also, when I mess up or have a tough day in the ring, it makes me feel extra insecure because of all the chatter. Shouldn’t we all be cheering each other on instead? Thanks for your help! Sincerely, Amy

Dear Amy,

First off, congratulations on stepping into the glittering world of show jumping! It’s a place where both dreams and nerves can run wild, but remember, every rider was once in your boots, feeling a mix of jitters and jubilation.

Now, about the less-than-lovely barn chatter you’ve been hearing. Gossip, my dear, is as common in barns as hay and hoof picks. It’s often not meant to harm, but that doesn’t make it any less unpleasant. The key is to not let it alter your bridle path. When you overhear those not-so-nice natterings, think of them like flies at a summer show: annoying but inevitable, and best swatted away or ignored. If you find it buzzing too close, it’s perfectly fine to steer clear of the chatter or even kindly suggest a change of topic. A simple, “Let’s talk about something more upbeat, how about that great round you had?” can redirect the conversation like a skilled rider handling a spook.

Feeling a bit wobbly after a tough day in the ring is completely normal, especially with the extra burden of barn gossip. Remember, every rider has their share of off days, and those are the very days that carve out a stronger and more resilient equestrian. Instead of letting the whispering wind shake you, use it to build a firmer seat. Reach out for support from those who uplift you, and offer the same in return. Creating a positive circle around you can often influence others to follow suit, and before you know it, you might just find that cheering becomes the new norm!

In the ring, as in life, we indeed should cheer each other on. We’re all in this hoofbeat-heartbeat symphony together, sharing the same dusty arenas and sky-high dreams. So, next time you mount up, do it with a heart ready to support and be supported. That’s the true spirit of equestrianism.

Ride on and ride proud, Stella

Hello Fellow Horse Enthusiasts, I’m Stella, your no-nonsense equestrian mentor with a lifetime of hunter jumper experience under my belt. While I may be retired from competition, my passion for coaching the next generation of riders keeps me just as engaged with the equestrian world as ever.Whether you’re facing a challenging horse, a tough competition, or just need some honest advice, I’m here to help. Don’t be shy—bring your questions and concerns to me. I promise to provide you with the straightforward, heartfelt advice you need to excel in this thrilling sport. Looking forward to assisting you on your equestrian journey! Best, Stella

Legal Disclaimer for “Dear Stella” Column: The advice and opinions expressed in the “Dear Stella” column on www.fullcheek.com are intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. They should not be taken as legal counsel. While we strive to provide thoughtful and accurate insights, the information provided is not a substitute for personalized legal advice from a qualified attorney. We encourage all readers to consult with a legal professional for specific advice tailored to their individual circumstances. The publisher, the column, and its contributors cannot be held liable for any outcomes or decisions made based on the content provided in this column. Additionally, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the authors.

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